How to Make a Multi-Generational Home Work without Keeping Everything

Are you bringing your elderly parent to live with you? Did you graduate from college, and is moving back home? Does your child have a family, and temporarily, the whole family has to move in? Sometimes, these things just happen in life, where there are big changes (like the cost-of-living crisis), and this happens instead. And when another generation moves into the house, everyone talks about the emotional adjustment first. That part is obviously real, but there are also clutter concerns, too.

For the most part here, there are routines to figure out, privacy to protect, and personalities to balance. Probably a few conversations about whose way of loading the dishwasher is apparently the correct one. It can be uncomfortable. Sure, in some cultures around the world, this is totally normal, but this is a whole new thing for you. So, there’s all that to deal with, but now there’s the stuff you have to deal with too.

A Lot is Going On

Actually,  that’s the part that can catch people off guard. It’s not just a person moving in with a suitcase. It’s a bed, a dresser, boxes of paperwork, kitchen items, bedding, extra chairs, old decor, sentimental things, duplicate appliances, and furniture that made perfect sense in one home but now has nowhere obvious to go. Some people put their items into storage, be it an extra room in their home, paying for a storage facility, putting it in the garage or attic, especially if this is a temporary living situation. 

But having duplicates of items can’t be a thing that lasts forever in your home. So, what can be done here?

What Rooms are Overflowing?

Well, before you question what rooms have too much stuff packed into them already, what spaces in the home are already packed, loaded, and super functional on a day-to-day basis before this became a multi-generational home? The reason why this is brought up here is that some rooms are already doing a lot before another person moves in. The kitchen is probably already full. The laundry area is already busy. The living room already has its usual traffic. The entryway already collects shoes, bags, coats, keys, and random things nobody wants to claim. But you get the idea: it’s already packed.

So when more belongings come in, those rooms start feeling crowded fast. Homes just have limits, and while a spare bedroom can technically fit a bed, a dresser, a desk, and several boxes, that doesn’t mean the person sleeping there is going to feel settled. They might feel like they’ve been placed inside a storage solution. That’s especially important if an older parent or grandparent is moving in; consider the fact that they absolutely need to have clear pathways and next to no tripping hazards. 

Not Everything Familiar has to Go.

Okay, but with all of that said, clearing space doesn’t mean acting like someone’s entire past is clutter. But oftentimes, a lot of homes will go this route- sure, maybe one time someone passes away, but if someone is going to move out and it’s temporary (like an adult child who’s in a rough patch), then some of that stuff should stay. Like, it might have taken years for them to get that stuff, so if they’re going through a breakup, divorce, job loss, home after college, or whatever else, you can’t instantly expect them to toss everything out. It’s not fair to them if they’re struggling already. 

Plus, kitchen appliances and furniture aren’t all that cheap either.  But there should be some sort of compromise, however. Some people can’t afford storage facilities, and they’re pretty expensive too (and there’s theft and other risky issues too). But if they have favorites of certain things, then maybe those should stay. Sure, maybe not everything should stay, but not everything should get out and be thrown out, though. 

Storage Shouldn’t Become a Permanent Waiting Room

Storage units were mentioned a few times already because sure, yeah, this can be a solution. And yes, short-term storage is fine. Like during a big household change, not every decision can happen in one weekend, and forcing every choice too fast can make people defensive. A few boxes in the garage for a little while are not the end of the world. Same goes for spending a couple of hundred a month on a storage facility; it’s not the end of the world here. 

However, with all of that said though, the problem is when temporary storage becomes the plan. The garage fills up. The attic fills up. The basement fills up. The spare room becomes unusable. Maybe money is getting really tight to where it can get hard to afford that storage facility (and these companies keep raising the prices too). So, everyone keeps saying they’ll deal with it later, but later keeps moving further away.

At some point, the bulky stuff has to be handled, especially if it is taking up too much room in your home, is hard to walk around, or makes it hard to do anything. So if there’s broken furniture, duplicate furniture like tables, duplicate appliances, heavy dressers, mattresses, just whatever is too awkward, in the way, too heavy to remove (and ideally didn’t cost that much). 

So they may have to go but you can at least call a junk removal company like JunkRabbit to get rid of it or if everything is in good condition it can be donated to a charity. You just can’t pay for a storage unit forever or have walkways in the home blocked off. Neither of these is an ideal way to live. 

But the Emotional Items Need a Slower Conversation

Some things can go without much discussion. Like broken furniture, stained mattresses, cracked bins, old appliances that don’t work, those are usually easier decisions once everyone is being honest. It’s pretty obvious they should go into the trash. But what about holiday decorations? What about a box of photos? What about an heirloom? 

Well, at least when it comes to those, don’t instantly try and toss them out. Maybe some photos can be taken of them, or maybe offer them to other family members for the time being, or keep one small special thing. But someone’s whole past shouldn’t be erased either here. 


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Barb Webb. Founder and Editor of Rural Mom, is an the author of "Getting Laid" and "Getting Baked". A sustainable living expert nesting in Appalachian Kentucky, when she’s not chasing chickens around the farm or engaging in mock Jedi battles, she’s making tea and writing about country living and artisan culture.
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