How To Keep A Calm Life When You Have Children

There is no denying it, your children are the center of your world and the best thing in it. Yet while they are undoubtedly a blessing, it can also be extremely chaotic trying to run a family, keep your home all going smoothly and work well at your job, let alone trying to hold down any sort of social life. This can all lead to high feelings of stress, chaos and can lead to a decline in your mental health.

If you are a busy parent and find that you’re having less and less time to relax, or that you’re not making the most of the time you do get, you’re not alone. In fact, according to a study done by the Mental Health Foundation, Approximately 68% of women and 57% of men with mental health problems are parents. With this in mind, we’ve put together a piece on how to keep a calm life when you have children. Keep on reading to find out more and hopefully get inspired! 

Establish daily routines

One of the first things you need to do when you run a busy household is to establish daily routines. When you are organized right from the down up it makes it a lot easier to know what you need to do when. Create routines for when you wake up, so everyone knows what time they need to be up, have breakfast, get ready and then a time you need to be out for school, nursery and work. The same for when you get home, have a routine for after school and bedtime. This can help your children know what is happening, but also help them to feel safe and secure and be better behaved.

It can help to have a shared calendar with your other half and family members which will enable everyone to see what is going on when. You could also have a whiteboard style one on your wall or fridge so it’s easy to see at a glance.

Practice healthy habits

When you’re not being healthy, are eating poorly and not exercising, it can make you feel sluggish, stressed and anxious. You won’t have the same level of energy to get through the day and it can also affect your mental self-esteem. Try and practice healthy habits to stop this from escalating and being a problem. Ensure you get up and eat a nutritious breakfast (many of us are guilty of just chugging down a quick coffee while getting the kids ready!)

You should drink plenty of water throughout the day and find an exercise that you enjoy. This could be something as simple as going out for a walk to clear your head and get your legs moving, or perhaps you join a local club such as netball, or the gym. This can all help you feel much calmer, more grounded and happier in your daily life.

Prioritize ‘me-time’ 

There is something so important about ‘me-time.’ You need to take time away from being just ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ and instead be you. After all, just because you are a parent, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t still a person. Read a book, go for a walk, play a game on your phone like blackjack, drink a coffee in a coffee shop in peace. You could go away to a hotel for a night and enjoy uninterrupted peace, no rushing to sort the kids out at bedtime or get up early in the morning and really indulge.

When you treat yourself well and let yourself do the things you love, you can be a much better parent to your children than if you are stressed, overwhelmed and just need a bit of a break. Remember never feel guilty giving in to yourself every once in a while, it’s important for your wellbeing.

Minimize clutter in your home

A cluttered home is a stressful one. Not only do you find yourself constantly stressing about mess and feeling like you need to tidy, but it also makes it virtually impossible to find anything. When you get rid of unnecessary items and ensure everything in your home has a place, it can really change the way you live.

Try and focus on functional storage which will enable you to put everything away and everyone knows what goes where, and don’t hold on to old items which you just don’t get use from anymore. While sentimental items are fine, find a special place for them and don’t keep everything. 

Don’t spend all your time cleaning

When you run a home, it can be really easy to spend all of your time cleaning. This is no fun for anyone and can really affect the way you feel mentally. Instead, have a deep clean one day a week and then just do little top-ups when you need to. Get everyone in your home to help, having a list of chores that everyone needs to do. It shouldn’t be just down to you to do all the work around the house, and it can help your kids to learn responsibility if they have things that they need to be in charge of.

Ensure these are age-appropriate chores and you could consider giving rewards such as pocket money to them if they get the jobs done. This can be a good incentive and also encourage them to learn the value of money and hard work. From taking out the bins, to doing the washing up or walking the dog, there are so many things that your kids can help with and it will help the house to feel a lot more manageable in no time. 

Have quality time as a family

Life is busy and it can feel a lot more stressful if you aren’t spending quality time together. Between work, school, after school clubs and seeing friends, it can be easy to grow distant. Ensure you prioritize spending quality time together, whether this is through dining together at the end of the day, or planning an activity at the weekend for all of you. This can be your chance to all catch up, find out what you’ve been up to and share any news or achievements between you all. It can really help you all feel closer and calmer.

Set clear boundaries for behavior

Children test boundaries and it’s a totally normal thing for them to do. They need these boundaries in order to feel safe and secure (even though it might not seem like it at the time!) Ensure you set clear boundaries and expectations, letting them know what is and isn’t okay and giving appropriate punishments if they do not behave. For younger ones this could be a time out, for older ones it could be removing their screen time, having them do extra chores or being grounded from going out. It’s important you all know where you stand with certain behaviors and can help them grow into better adults as a result.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help 

If you find things are getting a bit overwhelming, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Never see asking for help as a weakness, instead it shows how strong you are that you can recognize when you need a bit of assistance. You could speak to your Mum or a friend to take the children for a few hours just so you can get out of the house, clear your head and have a breather. Or perhaps you need some help with cleaning, in which case you could hire a professional company to come in and give your house a bit of TLC when you just don’t have the time.

Make your bedroom a sanctuary 

When you’re so busy, you want a place in the house that is yours, that exudes calmness and where you can really relax. Make your bedroom a sanctuary where you can relax, spend time on your own or with your partner and just unwind. Ensure you decorate it in colors which are calming such as light pastels and have pictures on the walls which make you happy. You should also make sure it smells nice with candles and reed diffusers and that your bed is comfortable and cozy!

These are just a few things you can do that can help you to keep a calm life when you have children. Doing this can feel like a nightmare at times and it won’t always run smoothly! But getting back on track when you can and making sure you prioritize yourself and don’t feel guilty about it is paramount. There are so many things you can do that can help you to keep a happy home and also ensure your own happiness is prioritized. What are some top tips you have for keeping a calm life when you have children? Let us know in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you.