Why You Should Plan Your Own Funeral

For some people, death and funerals is quite the maudlin topic. Some cultures refuse to discuss death in the open. Mainly because they believe discussion attracts what they’re talking about. However, it’s essential to face the reality of our mortality as human beings. We are all here, we were all born, and we will all die. The question is when, and nobody can predict that unless you’ve an illness or a doctor has told you otherwise.

Just because you can’t predict when you’re going to die doesn’t mean you can’t plan your own funeral. There are many things in life that you get to have control over, and this is one of them. Whether you want to be buried in a natural casket and put 6 feet under in your local cemetery, that’s completely up to you whether you want to be cremated and have one of the urns made from wood by Memorials.com that’s also up to you. The point is, many people don’t realize that planning at their own funeral is what’s going to give them a choice. So, if you want to have a say in how your funeral goes, it’s time to plan it yourself. And here are the reasons why you should go ahead and put those plans in place before your time is up.

You can save a lot of money.

Not just for you, but for your loved ones. Nobody wants to leave their family with the burden of a funeral expense. And that’s the point. Funerals can be very expensive. You’ll have to cover the costs of various services that include caskets, flowers, transportation and the funeral director themselves. By pre planning your funeral, you can lock in the prices of those Funeral services and make all of your choices yourself. If you want the natural wood casket before you are cremated, you get to have that. Nobody gets to step on your wishes if you’ve prepaid them in advance.

You get to have it your own way.

We mentioned the control element earlier on, but it’s still one of the best reasons to go ahead and plan your own funeral. Any of those final arrangements that reflect your unique personality can be laid out by you. If you have a small circle of friends, you can plan something small and intimate. If you want something big and religious so that you could go out with a bang, you get to have that too. There might be specific music you want played or readings that you would like included. When you preplan this, you’re making the decisions that can shape your final moments and allow your loved ones to say goodbye to you in a way that you would have wanted.

You take the burden from your family.

If you’re leaving behind a grieving spouse, the last thing you want for them is for them to have to flip through manuals and catalogues from a funeral director to make all of these choices. You can remove that burden from them and give them Peace of Mind. They’ll know that everything has been taken care of in your way, and when you pay for that funeral in advance, you’re making sure that there are no debts leftover. It’s like a final gift that you can give to those around you.

Shop around for the right funeral home.

After you die, your body is taken somewhere too late to rest before you’re buried or cremated. You have to be embalmed, and you have to be prepared by a Funeral Home. If you’re going to spend time shopping around for big ticket items like a house, a boat, or a vacation, then your funeral should be no different. Sure, you’re dead, you’re not going to enjoy the pampering your body’s going to get, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of your family can’t benefit from you being very well looked after. The right funeral home will ensure that you get exactly what you’re looking for, and that will make you feel at ease before your time comes.

You get to take your time.

Ideally, you’re planning your funeral with no pending death hanging over your head. Most funerals are planned quickly and often within a week or less. This can result in decisions that are quite hasty or being made under duress or pressure. It’s a very emotional situation and there’s pressure of time constraints given the way the human body reacts to death. Instead of having people who are grieving make difficult decisions, pre planning gives you that luxury of time. You get to think back through every aspect of the funeral without worrying about feeling rushed, and you can consider the impact of your choices.

Those nitty gritty details.

The death of a loved one comes with a lot of turmoil. It’s easy for small details to become overlooked. Is anybody going to remember your favorite flower or your favorite song? You’ll remember those things when you pre plan your funeral. You can ensure that all of those little details are accounted for and that nothing has been missed out. You can specify those flowers and you can take down the names of those readings that you’ve heard before. You’ll also be able to make those practical decisions, such as organ donation. If you’re able to donate your organs down to your eyeballs and skin, you should make sure that your healthcare provider knows this and your close family knows this. You can also have it written and signed off by a lawyer so that nobody can override your choice.

You prevent any additional stress.

When you die, your family is going to be bereft. Ideally, they are going to be dealing with overwhelming emotional burdens of grief. Adding stress to your funeral on top of all of that is not going to be easy. When you know that everything is taken care of properly, that will add to your comfort and that will give your loved one’s comfort as well. They can then just focus on their own healing and not have that burden of grief over their heads and not have to worry about planning a funeral on top of it.

You get to make your final wishes known.

Whatever those final wishes may be. You have time to tell your healthcare provider, a Funeral Home, your lawyer, and your loved ones. You can communicate your wishes. And if your wishes are different to your usual family traditions, you also have time to argue them. If your family is usually buried in a mausoleum but you want to be cremated, that’s completely your choice. You want to have a centrepiece and know that your final requests are respected, so argue it out while you’re alive to do it. Save your family from that one sided argument in their head.

You get the chance to ask the right questions.

Funeral planning is not easy. There are plenty of factors that you have to consider here as to whether or not you are transported by a car or a hearse or you go by a horse and carriage. When you pre plan, you have the chance to ask all of these questions and you can ask about different services, compare prices and you can gain a very clear understanding of what you’re about to have for your final goodbye. When you work closely with funeral directions, you can talk about casket options and the memorial service itself. And pre planning allows you to even set up things like catering. If you have life insurance that you want to pre plan for now, that’s also a good time to do that. 

You get to work with somebody that you respect.

The relationship between a family and a funeral director is not an easy one. This person is going to be taking your body away and that can rub differently against your family members, but a funeral director is going to play a crucial role in supporting your family during this time. If the funeral process has been managed properly and with care, that can make a big difference. So when you pre plan your funeral, you have the opportunity to choose someone that you would get along with. It makes a world of difference when the time comes to have somebody that you trust and respect in charge of what happens next. 

The idea of pre planning a funeral can feel uncomfortable and it can feel like a difficult conversation. After all, Murphy’s Law says that when you speak it aloud, it’s going to find you. But in this case, it’s much like anything else. You want to be able to prepare in advance so that you are covered should anything go wrong. You don’t buy life insurance with the idea that you’re going to get hit by a bus tomorrow. In the end, pre-planning your funeral is an act of care for your family and it’s going to ease the emotional and financial burden on your loved ones. 


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Barb Webb. Founder and Editor of Rural Mom, is an the author of "Getting Laid" and "Getting Baked". A sustainable living expert nesting in Appalachian Kentucky, when she’s not chasing chickens around the farm or engaging in mock Jedi battles, she’s making tea and writing about country living and artisan culture.
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